Extracurricular activities – whether before school or after school or in the community – are implicitly optional. They are, as the word implies – “extra” – in addition to school. As a parent, the choices can be freeing and helpful or confusing and challenging and perhaps, a little of both. And to add to the complexity, our families don’t merely have ballet or piano or soccer from which to choose. There are any number of additional special interests that could be explored such as robotics, pottery or martial arts. Because there are so many considerations related to extracurriculars, I thought I would explore the many complexities, ask a number of parents how their parents handled the situation and how they have decided to manage “extras” with their own children and then examine other social and emotional developmental factors in the mix and see if any helpful suggestions emerged.

First let’s acknowledge that many…